The struggle of commitment issues

The struggle of commitment issues

Megan Dinkins

The struggle of commitment issues

By: Megan Dinkins


Jacob thinks he wants to be in a relationship but when he gets in one he doesn’t want it anymore. He struggles with being close to people, so when he feels he is too comfortable with someone he picks fights to distance himself. He worries that being in a relationship will take away his freedom, and when he is in a relationship he often thinks his partner is controlling and demanding. He is scared of big ideas like marriage or buying a house together. Jacob shows signs of commitment issues.


Commitment issues, or commitment phobia, comes from many different areas. People who have commitment issues tend to struggle with mental distress and emotional difficulty when dealing with things that involve long term dedication, according to This phobia can dishevel several different areas of a person’s life whether it’s in relationships or working towards long term goals.


According to, some signs of commitment issues include not wanting to date seriously, ignoring the future, questioning the relationship, not feeling emotionally attached, and feeling trapped in the relationship.


According to, most people with commitment issues experienced early childhood stress, trauma, or a series of small events. This can include parents’ divorce or marital issues, rape, or other traumatic events. As a child, seeing your parents fight or get divorced can implant the idea in your mind that marriages don’t work, which is where the fear of being in a relationship comes from. Little events that can happen to cause commitment phobia could be several failed relationships or people screwing you over leading you to believe there is no hope for a successful relationship.

Commitment issues are very complex and hard to deal with, but there are different methods to try. states that individual therapy, couples therapy, talking about your problems, and practicing commitment all help to overcome commitment phobia. This can look like finding the root of the issue and where it comes from and telling your partner about your problem and overcoming it together.