A Relationship Gone Sour

A Relationship Gone Sour

Megan Dinkins

A Relationship Gone Sour

By: Megan Dinkins


Names have been changed to protect privacy.


Selena, 16, didn’t know what a healthy relationship looked like. There were days that Selena just wanted to be with her friends but couldn’t because her boyfriend Ethan, 17, wanted her all to himself. She couldn’t go a second without talking to him or he would lose his mind.


This was only the beginning. It eventually escalated and became physical. In the cafeteria of their high school, he put her in a chokehold for not letting him see her phone. With tears running down her face, she ran away from him as he chased her through the parking lot until she got in her car and drove away.


That was the last straw for Selena, but that’s not how their relationship began. It was very healthy at first and filled with love and affection from both participants. Then came the gaslighting when a significant other twists their partner’s emotions and words to use them against them. This leads to the victim beginning to not trust their own perspective causing increased vulnerability. Selena began to start feeling as though she wasn’t good enough for Ethan because that’s what he made her believe.


Then Ethan began to isolate her from friends. He would text her hundreds of texts when she was with her friends. He wanted her to have no one except him so he could have complete control.


Selena became really lonely and thought she had no one to go to, but according to loveisrespect.org, about 1.5 million high school students experience abuse in a relationship after just one year. This does not include the millions of others who are not high school students, but the majority of abuse victims, 94%, range from the ages 16-19.


 Their relationship kept getting worse and worse. Ethan blamed everything on Selena and she began to have low self-esteem. She stayed with him for almost a year because he was all she had at this point. Finally, when he put her in a chokehold in the cafeteria, she realized that enough was enough. She was tired of not having friends and hating herself for the happiness of Ethan. She broke up with him. He didn’t like this too much and threatened to go to drastic lengths just to get revenge for her leaving him. She told his dad some of the things he was saying, and he stopped it immediately.


It is now almost a year later and Selena has a new boyfriend and is doing great. Being in the relationship she’s in now, she realizes what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like and got her friends and life back.


If you find yourself in an abusive relationship like Selena, remember that there is always a way out. There are national hotlines that you can contact, or, if it comes to it, you can call the police. If you are in an abusive relationship, visit thehotline.org or call 1-800-799-7233. If you would like to learn more about gaslighting visit northpointrecovery.com.